Tuesday, December 27, 2005

What Is This Blister In My Mouth

Pancia nuova, vita nuova!!!

of Manuela

I'm back with you!
Finally after a couple of months I have found is that the desire to write the words to tell you about the latest events!
And 'cause last time we "feel" has changed a lot' of things!
The most 'important?
... NO MORE 'SICK !!!!!!!!!
Now do not tell me you are planning a miracle ... and please do not put yourself to rely on San Nicholas or San Gennaro, 'cause the only person to thank and' my surgeon ... he is and that 'a saint!

But let's order!
last post I was pointing to the strange period that I was going through, so many changes, decisions to make, but above all there will be 'escaped some positivity', I reread those same lines I was surprised and I thought for a moment I had the strength to face anything alone ... even I have never so wrong 'so much in my life!
The first days of November in fact, I got the call I was waiting for so letteralemnte and that changed my life: my surgeon's secretary called me to warn me that he had freed un posto ed il giorno dopo dovevo presentarmi a Bologna per fare gli accertamenti.
Di li' a due giorni avrei subito l'internvento!
So che e' praticamente impossibile spiegarvi quello che ho provato in quei minuti; e' difficile soprattutto perche' sono passati quasi due mesi, ed e' per questo che ho pensato di riportare qui di seguito le parole che ho scritto nel mio diario la sera prima di partire.
(vi ricordo che e' stato scritto di getto quindi...scusate per eventuali errori!!!).

9/11/2005 ore 1,00

"...Che scrivere? Come faccio a mettere per iscritto quello che sto provando?
Come fanno gli scrittori a spiegare una sensazione, un sentimento?
Come faccio a rendere l'idea del peso in gola...di un qualcosa che non vuole ne' scendere e ne' salire?
Per non parlare della pancia...non e' mai stata cosi' tesa in vita sua.
1000+1 pensieri mi circolano per la testa...a quale devo dar retta?
A quello che mi dice che questa e' l'ultima notte da "malata" nel mio letto?
A quello che mi porta ad immaginare come sara' la mia vita tra due giorni?
Come sara' il risveglio dopo l'intervento?
...Per non parlare dell'anestesia...a me piace dormire ma...sara' la stessa cosa???
Quali sogni mi verranno a tormentare o a deliziare?
Tra tutte queste domande(e tante altre ce ne sarebbero!), ho solo una certezza:HO PAURA!
E la paura e' talmente forte e talmente tanta che non riesco nemmeno a dire di cosa ho paura...!
Ed e' la stessa paura che non mi permette di chiudere occhio.
Oggi verso le 14,00 ho ricevuto la telefonata della segretaria del mio chirurgo e da li' la mia vita e' cambiata di nuovo.
Troppe volte e' accaduto in 25 anni.
Prima e' successo nel '99 con l'arrivo della malattia, poi a luglio di quest'anno quando ho deciso di operarmi ed infine oggi quando mi hanno chiamata!
Ancora non ho pianto...sono riuscita a farmi vedere da tutti forte e felice, ma dentro muoio.
Muoio di paura!
Mi sembra di sentirmi sola!
E' una solitudine strana, perche' in realta' vicino a me ci sono persone che mi hanno dimostrato un grande affetto (in particolar How can my family !)... and yet, I still feel alone!
Sometimes however, I feel very strong, as if I had already 'dealt with the worst part, no longer' be a small rock.
But sometimes (as in these minutes), the fear around me, rocks me and not let me think.
My breath and 'PRESS' teeth clenched tight, I hurt my back, I pulled my belly, I have bad eyes for tiredness, head and 'empty, absent, almost ready to shoot, the muscles are thesis.
I'd love to cry, but I can not vent.
Then I would think of something "light", but nothing ... the thoughts' are stronger than me!
How will 'the post-intervention? The future?
Spero che vada tutto per il verso giusto...sono stanca di vivere una vita fatta di intoppi.
Vorrei vivere come tutti ed avere le mie possibilita' come gli altri.
Fatti forza...tutto serve per esperienza!
Hai tante persone vicino che ti vogliono bene...mi faro' forza per loro!
Andra' tutto per il meglio...!
'notte!"

Il giorno seguente sono stata accompagnata da mio fratello e mia madre all'ospedale di Bologna.
Tutto intorno a me metteva tristezza: la pioggia, le foglie degli alberi che cadevano a terra, le facce degli altri pazienti e quelle dei medici distratti.
Volevo tornarmene a casa ma per fortuna mi sono calmata e sono rimasta.
Sono passati circa due mesi dal giorno dell'intervento and now I can only say to be happy with what I did.
It 'was hard (indeed, still is'!) But it was' definitely worth the effort!
And in these days when the sadness comes over me, drags me down 'and I would not make it, I go with my mind ... exactly one year ago on 27 December 2005 I was hospitalized for twenty days in Bologna for a relapse.
When I think back to those days I realize how lucky, and I 'was given a second chance' to live a life like everyone else, without hospitalization, holidays spent in hospital, without cortisone, medicine, tears and sacrifices.
Finally after 8 years Santa Claus has made me find the gift under the tree that I asked for a lifetime: the health ... now as I can not believe it ?!?!?!

Happy Birthday Happy Holidays to all!
soon, Manu

Ps.La next time will come in 'more' specifically, I will explain 'what they did and how the doctors have to get back on track!
worry ... will not do 'go another 2 months!
Happy 2006!

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Female Doctor Check Testicals

L'ospite inattesa

of Andrea

My first experience with a "special guest unexpected" dates back to the University, precisely to 1996, during the study of civil law matters. While they spent the afternoon in the maze of law, "something" has come into my body (read intestine) a special lady and quite unexpected, and yes!, because I began to experience abdominal pain and bowel movements of unidentified phenomena explicable or diarrhea or the normal excretory function. I state that up to that point, my bowel movements had always been regular, though fast in terms of digestion. Not worried that much and more in love with my right, I let the legal training to assume the lead role in my early 20's.

I had to change his mind when the passage of days required an increasingly urgent need to use the bathroom, with frequent and sudden shocks. Decided to investigate what I was really happening, due to the appearance of blood in the stool, which among other things frightened me greatly, I stared at a visit with a specialist. Waiting for the day set for the visit made my hypotheses, including, for me the most likely, the emergence of a phenomenon hemorrhoidal. This theory was totally discredited when the specialist, for an initial clinical examination, considering both the symptoms have accused both the events considered in their phenomenology, all at proctitis attributed (inflammation of the last part of the anus). Only a subsequent examination by specialists in internal medicine hospital in Macerata, carried out more objectively through the use of sonda endoscopica, ha permesso di definire così la diagnosi: colite ulcerosa. E’ lei l’ospite inattesa di cui ho fatto menzione e che tutt’ora alberga nel mio corpo. Dopo tale diagnosi lo specialista mi disse di limitare l’alimentazione ricca di fibre e verdure e mi consigliò di stare tranquillo e di non stressarmi troppo. In effetti solo dopo qualche tempo ho realmente capito il senso di questo suo ultimo consiglio (nei prossimi articoli tornerò su questo aspetto).

Dopo la diagnosi predetta, ricordo di aver assunto un atteggiamento piuttosto ottimista, probabilmente perché ignoravo cosa fosse la colite ulcerosa. Comunque, la terapia che dovevo fare era costituita da pasticche e clisterini da fare la sera prima I fell asleep. After a couple of months the situation had been gradually improving and resumed studying with will and satisfaction. But to be honest there was something that escaped me that unconsciously or not I wanted to understand: I was told in fact that I had this disease for life, and it was just this last sentence that I sometimes think of returning. Today, as the years passed, I do not remember precisely what was to my conclusion in that regard, certainly not exactly optimistic.

To speed up a bit 'this story, I mention only the fact that the colitis and is concerned with my colon in its last part: sigma-rectum. Until 2000 the problems of flare disease is more accentuated than the change of season (winter-spring) covers the period from March to mid-May (the term "hot" the brake with the tablets and some clisterino). For the rest of the year I had no particular problems of "transit urgent", nevertheless I always need to make a maintenance therapy. The disease has always been characterized according to this year 2000 and thereafter bending the facts evolve.

In the next article I will write that the situation is a bit 'changed. To conclude my first attachment to this commendable and important dialog and discussion, I just want to remember all those who read my article, as it is of paramount importance, again, important to know every aspect of ulcerative colitis symptoms and his "brother" Chron's disease, and to be able to live without ever losing optimism. For the experience I believe that a condition that needs to distinguish those who have and have this disease and the fact of having a positive mood and high living. Maybe not all fully understand these sentences, but in this regard will receive all the answers to their questions in my next articles.

soon, Andrea

Friday, November 4, 2005

Black Out Chevy Cobalt

"NON LO SO...FORSE SBAGLIO"

of Manuela

Today a day is a bit 'special!
Until yesterday, almost four months, I dealt with the changes and innovations that have occurred in a very pessimistic, but I did not think, "But can all that happen to me and how do I get through?" . Okay I
that near my parents, my brother and friends, but despite being surrounded by so many people I have always felt alone.
you ever be in the middle of a big crowd? Do you have a lot of people around but you can not help but feel sad and abandoned in yourself. So I felt I
for 4 months!

But I got up this morning with a constant thought in my head and in a different light e. eyes .. I finally got it!
I realized that everything that has happened to me and what still needs to happen to me only makes' strong.
For a moment I believed not to have more 'power to do anything and yet today I am happy ... happy to have the disease, glad of having to work and having to deal with 4 / 5 months of hell, glad to have closed a ratio of 2 years, happy to be wrong.
You'd think that they are "crazy" ... well, 'perhaps' is (Dr. Grant ?!?), but me' is really what I think and now I'll explain why!

Once a lady known to the hospital told me that the only ulcerative colitis took to intelligent people and full of feeling, and I lì per lì non ho dato un gran peso alle sue parole, ma solo oggi mi rendo conto che aveva ragione (concordo per la sensibilità...un po' meno per l'intelligenza!!!).
La malattia mi avrà portato tante limitazioni, tanti sacrifici e tante rinunce ma alla fine chi ci ha "guadagnato" sono solo io!
E' grazie a lei se oggi riesco a capire chi ha dei problemi e chi sta male; è grazie a lei se ho conosciuto persone che altrimenti non avrei mai incontrato (mi ha anche avvicinata alle persone piu' care e mi ha allontanata dalle "false amicizie").
E' solo grazie a lei se sono riuscita a dare un giusto peso alle cose.
Sto cambiando? Sto peggiorando?
Sto forse, finalmente, crescendo?
I do not know ... I just do not want more 'and I would be sad to capture the best part of this whole story.
Maybe what I'm trying to take a walk ... I'm trying to take everything with a philosophy to get the full day of the operation of forces.

Oh ... we finally got to the point!
And why is no getting around: one of the reasons why I went "crazy" in the 4-month intervention.
You think it a trifle?
Initially you must decide whether it or fight for life with the drugs (and I assure you that it is not an easy choice to take), then you have to choose who you work (you try the 'good if ... devi affogare meglio farlo nell'acqua alta!!) ed infine c'è l'attesa.
Io sono nella terza fase e non mi passa un giorno!
Sto sempre lì a pensare cosa mi aspetta, ai 4 mesi tra un intervento e l'altro (e si perchè gli interventi saranno ben 2) e se sto facendo la cosa giusta.
La mia vita è già praticamente cambiata, o meglio, SCOMBUSSOLATA!
E tutto questo mi ha fatto capire che le mie priorità, i miei pensieri, i miei problemi non sono quelli di una qualsiasi ragazza di 25 anni.
Non riesco piu' a divertirmi quando esco la sera.
Non riesco a ridere con gli amici di sempre.
Non riesco piu' a parlare di qualsiasi argomento (ora, per me, sono tutti discorsi inutili).
Evito di andare a ballare (un po' perchè non ne ho la forza...troppe medicine...e soprattutto per non sentirmi ancora piu' sola!).

Pensate che stia sbagliando a comportarmi così?
Ma voi credete che sia semplice uscire e far finta che vada tutto bene?
A questo punto pero' sono corsa ai ripari e ...sapete cosa ho fatto?
1) Quando esco con i miei vecchi amici non cerco piu' di spiegare perchè sono pensierosa...tutte le volte che ci ho provato ho avuto la sensazione di sembrare noiosa e ripetitiva e allora via, prendo tutto così come viene e tento di godermi semplicemente le poche ore fuori di casa.
2) Ho iniziato a frequentare gente nuova: è una bellissima sensazione avere nuove amicizie...soprattutto Why do not expect anything from me!
E 'nice not having to give any explanation!
3) do not listen to 'the songs that they send me a peak ... just be sad!
4) I finally concentrate on myself and that makes me feel more 'free.

do not know ... Maybe I'm wrong to think so!
I only know that some days I feel more 'strong.
I also know that the next few months will not be easy at all (indeed ...) but after 7 years of illness I can not take advantage of this opportunity that I am given.
... Maybe I'll be able 'to have a life like everyone else!

GROPED Non Nuoc .... or at least I hope !!!!!

PS.lo know, I promised that I would have spoken di tutt'altra cosa ma questo era quello che mi passava per la testa e questo ho scritto...spero abbiate apprezzato!!!
ciao ciao, Lella!

Friday, October 7, 2005

Pokemon Soulsilver R4 Cheats

"15"

15 e' il numero delle diverse medicine che ho preso in 7 anni per cercare di "mettere a riposo" la mia malattia.

15 sono le pasticche che prendo al giorno ogni volta che ho una ricaduta.

15 sono le volte che vado in bagno (al giorno!!)quando sto veramente male.

...Per almeno 15 volte al giorno mi fermo a pensare alla malattia.

Solo oggi mi sono resa conto che questo non e' un semplice numero...esso racchiude tutta la mia tristezza, la fatica che metto ogni giorno per fare le cose e la stanchezza per questa situazione.
E proprio oggi un amico mi ha detto che mi devo svegliare...li' per li' ho pensato:"parla bene lui!"...poi pero' ci ho riflettuto ed ho capito che forse ha ragione...e' ora che mi dia una mossa; devo iniziare io per prima ad accettare la mia malattia, per poi farla comprendere ed accettare anche a chi mi sta vicino (o, come in questo caso, anche a chi non conosco!).
Non sara' semplice...ma tentar non nuoce!!

Cominciamo con una domanda facile facile:"Ma perche' proprio a me??"
Premetto che io non studio medicina, quindi vi riferiro' quello che i medici mi hanno detto in questi anni passati.
La COLITE ULCEROSA e' una malattia infiammatoria intestinale la cui causa e' SCONOSCIUTA...non so then explain why he hit me right (and more than 150,000 people!), but you know 'that several factors may be involved: genetic predisposition, infective factors, and finally immunological factors (ie, there may be' abnormalities of the immune system).
However, you can rest assured ... the ulcerative colitis is not 'it' contagious and 'inheritance!

There may be different types of ulcerative colitis: in my case it affects the entire colon, in other cases, however, can 'affect only the rectum (proctitis), rectum and sigmoid colon or the rectum to the colon.
Want to know how and when I found out I had the disease?
... Here you are ...

January 1999 was
da piu' di una settimana che avevo organizzato una cena con degli amici: finalmente potevo godermi una bella serata dopo diverse giornate di studio!
Sono passata a prendere le mie amiche,abbiamo raggiunto gli altri e...tempo mezz'ora sono dovuta tornare di corsa a casa!
E si perche' all'improvviso mi ha preso un forte mal di pancia e non appena sono arrivata in bagno ho scoperto di avere delle grosse perdite di sangue...non potete immaginare la mia paura!
Non so neanche spiegarvi quello che mi e' passato per la testa in quel momento.
Da quella sera la mia vita e' praticamente cambiata!
Il giorno dopo sono stata ricoverata in ospedale(ero in camera con altre 5 signore con un unico bagno!)...non vi dico i pianti che mi sono done at night while others slept!
I was so afraid 'cause I felt alone to deal with something that did not even know the name. I was asked
blood tests (ESR, CRP, blood count etc ...) and then with endoscopy (colonoscopy in this case) the doctors have gone to control the party directly affected.
colonoscopy and 'one of the tests most' annoying that I have ever done, but 'thanks to it that you can see in that state and' the colon!
In practice, although with a gastroscopy you shove a pipe in his mouth to study the stomach, with a colonoscopy ... you go another way ... and it 's useless to tell you how painful this is!
To make it you have to drink about 4 liters of a substance dissolved in the water ... my mother ... if I think about it makes me sick!
(... little tip for those who must do: eat just the 2 preceding days and you will see that we required only 2 liters!).
's just at this point that it' was made the diagnosis: ulcerative colitis.
Once out of the hospital, I went home and went to travel information on the internet: I had not ever done! If
first I was afraid, after reading some articles, I was pretty terrified!
It was said very clearly that, for now, there is no medical treatment can obtain a complete cure, the only thing to do 'being able to find a therapy means for preventing the onset of a new restart.
In practice I have been struggling with this disease forever.

Since 1999 I have faced at least two hospitalizations per year in various hospitals in Italy (Bologna, Macerata, Rome, etc ...) and every time began again to "torture" with the exams. The next time
and 'which will start from here' ... I would speak of exams that I have been made, the different treatments I've tried, the experience of hospitalization and many people I met!
I hope to see you soon ... hello hello! Lella

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Sample Letter Informing About The Arrival Date

Interiormente....

when I 'was asked to write for this blog I accepted immediately, but I did not know it would be so' difficult.
E si perche' non e' mai semplice parlare della propria vita ed in particolare di una malattia che ti colpisce personalmente.
Pero' poi ci ho riflettuto ed ho capito che raccontare la mia esperienza potra' servire ad aiutare qualcun altro con il mio stesso problema..a farlo sentire meno solo.
Ma soprattutto vorrei tentare di far conoscere questa malattia(e tutte le sue conseguenze) anche a chi non ne ha mai sentito parlare!
E forse servira', in maniera egoistica, anche a me (...o almeno lo spero!!); sara' come una sorta di terapia, per capire meglio me stessa e tutto quello che ho passato!

Ops...dimenticavo...non mi sono presentata: io mi chiamo Lella, ho 25 anni e...questa e' la mia storia!!
Dunque..da Where do I start?
Let's see ... about 7 years ago, I suddenly started having the first symptoms of a disease that doctors then called "ulcerative colitis".
There and then I have more 'so much concern ... who has not had a bit' of colitis in his life?
's why in the early days, although it has several different shelters and started treatment, I continued to develop this disease with a single word: "problem".
... For me, the other diseases were true!
Only now I realize that I was trying to underestimate my situation!
I'll explain in a few words, What is' Ulcerative Colitis! It
and 'inflammatory bowel disease that affects mainly the colon, characterized da fasi di attivita' e di remissione; quando e' in fase attiva, la mucosa,cioe' la superficie piu' interna della parete intestinale,diventa subito fragile ed ulcerata e questo comporta delle perdite di sangue.
Come potete ben capire,questa non e' una colite come tutte le altre!
In piu',la malattia colpisce si l'intestino, ma quel che e' peggio, riesce ad influenzare anche la mia testa!
Mamma mia...detta cosi' sembra che io sia matta!!
Per spiegarmi meglio vi faro' un esempio.
Sabato scorso una mia amica mi ha telefonato chiedendomi se volevo uscire a fare una passeggiata; ci sarebbe stata poi la cena con il nostro gruppo ed infine via verso qualche locale della costa.
...Serata allettante per qualsiasi girl of my age ', and also for me, but ... I had to refuse!
not think that I have the usual "apathy" of the group ... in fact, but as often happens when I relapse, I'd rather spend the evening locked in the house.
Why '? I'll explain it!
Now: dinner and 'excluded' cause this disease will not let me eat whatever I want ... I must be very careful with food ... a pinch of pepper and I might end up straight to the hospital (imagine what effect makes the pepper on an open wound ...!!!).
As for the walk and after dinner ... well '... I have to think!
And 'cause at this point my head starts to work and 1000 application "anxious" are intertwined: "And if then I feel bad? And if you do not find a bathroom? What if .. you .. and if ..???"
In practice, the anxiety and fear take possession of me and to avoid standing out rather not get worse.

Okay '... maybe I a bit 'too much! It' s not that I'm home all weekend waiting to feel bad ... what I have told, usually happens after a restart of the disease ... other days I go out and I also do some trip (but always' a thousand anxieties!).
And do not think that all this happens only to me ... all the people I met with ulcerative colitis, have my same fears!
In short: you still can not understand me?
Be '... and' normal ... if you can 'consular they can not even people who are close to me!
There will be 'but' missed one detail: you realize that by doing so 'my social life will suffer a lot and also my mood is not' least, my anxiety increases, the disease reappears seems e. .. the story of the dog chasing its tail, is not it?!?
Of course you do not need me to explain how this situation could hurt me and it 's why sometimes I try to force me to thinking that there are worse things in life ... but not' always easy!
Well ... I hope that this introduction has made you think and you have put a little 'Sight'. In the next
"episodes" I'll talk about 'in a more' depth of ulcerative colitis, its causes, care and there will be 'a diary should be on ...' ... that's enough wit 'and what a surprise'?
Thank you for your attention! HELLO HELLO

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Why Do I Have Acid In My Throat And Stomach

Presentazione

This blog was created to give those who suffer from inflammatory bowel disease the opportunity to relate their experiences, providing useful information and come into contact with those interested. One explanation for the psychological suffering of those suffering from these diseases is the experience of loneliness, given the personal difficulty of communicating the disease to understand the difficulty that shows who does not suffer. "Inner" is proposed to overcome this limitation, giving those who wish to participate in a public space for communication collaborativa.

I miei sentiti ringraziamenti vanno alla Dott.ssa Anna Annessi, vera madrina di questo progetto, per aver concepito l’idea e per avermi incoraggiato e supervisionato nella realizzazione; a Manuela Feliziani, per aver accettato di partecipare e di “rompere il ghiaccio”; a tutti coloro che decideranno di collaborare, scrivendo su questo blog per condividere la loro esperienza.

Dr. Roberto Blarasin

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Crosman Medalist 1322

Indice

Benvenuti al blog "Interiormente". Cliccate sui link per visualizzare i contenuti:

Leggi la storia di Manuela :

Read the story of Andrea :